Tag: anxiety

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Falling by Suki Fleet

Dreamspinner Presents http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=6457

FallingSukiFleetBlurb

Josh’s idea of a romance is curling up alone and reading a novel with a happily ever after. He’s made his flat a safe haven where the wall are covered with beautiful words, and his living room ceiling is a map of the universe.

Angus may be shy and inexperienced, but he’s incapable of hiding anything, especially his attraction to his older neighbor.

When Josh admits to Angus that he’s gay, he doesn’t expect Angus’s reaction. Angus’s obvious interest terrifies Josh. For years he’s managed to keep the world at arm’s length and avoid getting too close to anyone. Well, anyone except Elenor, Angus’s mother, who helped Josh rebuild his life after he was hospitalized for depression. But Josh still thinks he’s broken. His past has left scars he thinks are too deep to heal. Despite Josh’s defenses, Angus begins to mean more to him than just the cute boy next door. If Josh can take a risk and let someone into his isolated world, he might have a chance for a real life happy ending.

Review

Josh has severe depression, and has been hospitalized for it in the past. He is estranged from his biological family but has built himself a support system of people where he lives now. One of those is Eleanor, his neighbor, the mother of Angus.

Eleanor has anxiety issues that are slowly making her life unbearable. Angus turns to Josh for help and more.

Josh feels like he isn’t stable enough to help either Eleanor or Angus but Eleanor was there for him when he needed her and he can’t help but be infatuated with the adorable and innocent Angus (who clearly has a crush on Josh.)

Together, Angus and Josh navigate the health system to find the right solution for Eleanor and along the way the right solution for themselves, as well.

**

This was a very, very, very dark read. The issues these guys face are real, and heavy and not likely to ever go away.

The romance is very slow burn – sometimes painfully slow.

I was glad that having a “boyfriend” wasn’t offered up as a solution to Josh’s depression, Josh was very clear with Angus about the future and it does seem hopeful. However, I wasn’t given a lot of page time with him and Angus to know if their coupledom will be successful long term – Angus is so young and Josh’s illness is severe.

The writing is excellent as is the editing. If you are in the mood for a dark, yet hopeful romance, with a very positive ending about a difficult subject – this is the book for you.

For me – I’d have liked to see more of the romance and less of the internal dialog. I would shift the balance of the book to at least 50/50 build up and coupledom because I really think they have their work cut out for them and that it doesn’t end just because they say the magic three words.

I really didn’t feel that connected to Angus (this is told from Josh’s POV) and as a result I just don’t know what compels him as well as I’d like.

3.5 of 5 hearts

Love the cover!

3.5

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Rainbow Connection by Alexa Milne

MLR Press Presents http://www.mlrbooks.com/ShowBook.php?book=AMRAINBW

rainbow connectionBlurb

Two men, one with a past, and one determined to give them a future, together.

Mick Flanagan has kept himself hidden since his only lover died three years ago. He works at night, keeps to his routine, has impressive facial hair, and avoids contact with other people. Enter Ceri Llewellyn, with his constantly changing rainbow-coloured hair, who seems determined to talk to him. Gradually, Mick tells his story and begins to trust Ceri, but Mick has a past that contains more than just a dead lover. Can Ceri show him that he deserves to be loved and, above all else, help him find his true self?

 

Review

This was a surprisingly different book than I expected. I was thinking it would be a fairly fluffy geek/nerd love story with a twinky/goofball and instead I got a fairly rich, and deep story about a deeply controlled man who has never been on his own and doesn’t know what to do when he is.

Mick’s mom is a piece of work. She never let Mick stray far from her grasp all throughout his childhood, threatening home schooling and demanding almost complete isolation from him while instilling fear of the outside world into his head. It is only dumb luck that Mick finds love at the hands of a paramedic, Alfie, who both saves his life and rescues him from his mom.

But Alfie has his own imperfections and he, too never let Mick be his own man. He loved Mick, to be sure, but he controlled him and never let him flourish. Neither his mom nor Alfie encouraged his creativity or self-reliance and when Alfie suddenly dies, Mick is on his own. (His mom kicked him out for being gay, of course.)

Now, three years later, Mick is coping – just – but still not thriving. He meets Ceri (pronounced Sherry – it’s a Welsh name) at work and is immediately captivated by the outgoing man who literally changes his hair color each week.

Ceri is a big kid – not quite but almost ready to settle down and admit he will never be a pro-skateboarder at the age of 27. He meets Mick and thinks he sees a diamond in the rough hiding behind the awkwardness and the bushy beard.

The two start to get to know one another and Mick slowly comes out of his shell. Here things move along rapidly (maybe a bit too rapidly) and they become lovers. But Mick is still holding tight to his dead-lover’s memory and can’t let Ceri in.

Only when an old friend interferes can he really let Ceri in and get past Alfie. At the same time he finds out his mother is dying from cancer and may only have a limited time left around for building bridges.

What really surprised me about this story was how much growth we got to witness in Mick. He really was so controlled, but in both cases lovingly, if not dangerously. Ceri has to dance around helping him without taking over and becoming the next leader Mick follows blindly.

All in all I really enjoyed this and will definitely look for more from this author.

4.25 of 5 hearts

4

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